I don't even know what this articles point is.
If you do find the point, be sure to let me know.
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This past year has been tough, though not in ways that are easy to put into words. Over the last 12 months, I’ve noticed something unsettling: the things I used to love, like video games, just don’t grab me the way they used to. Instead, I feel a constant pull towards productivity, a nagging voice telling me I should be doing something “useful” — learning a new skill, improving myself, making the most of my time. But deep down, all I really want to do some days is sit in front of a game, lose myself for hours, and just chill.
If you’re reading this, you might be thinking, “It’s OK to take a break sometimes!” And logically, I know you’re right. But even when I try to relax, I find it impossible to focus on something I know I used to enjoy. The guilt creeps in — the feeling that if this isn’t taking me somewhere, if it isn’t building towards something tangible, then it’s a waste of time.
Lately, I’ve tried to redirect that energy into new hobbies. I’ve been learning to fly FPV drones and experimenting with 3D printing. I enjoy the learning curve — figuring out how to fly, how to design something in CAD. But once I’ve cleared that initial hurdle, I hit a wall. The spark fizzles out. Sure, I can fly a drone now, but what should I film? What can I create that hasn’t been done a thousand times before? I can design and print a 3D model, but what’s the point? Where does it lead?
It’s a frustrating cycle. Maybe it’s a touch of mild depression, I don’t know. But I’m not isolating myself socially, and I don’t feel like I’m putting on a mask when I’m with other people. The issue feels… subtler. Like a quiet pressure I’ve placed on myself to constantly create, not just consume.
I feel like I should be writing, filming, designing — something, anything. But I get caught in this endless loop of overthinking: What’s the best way to do this? What’s the perfect format? How can I make this successful? I know that advice like “read this guide to optimise your blog” is well-meaning and often helpful, but the pressure to do everything perfectly ends up paralysing me. The result? I don’t start at all.
Well, today, I’ve decided I don’t care about any of that. I just want to write. What you’re reading is a stream of consciousness, unfiltered. I’m not going back to fix grammar or rephrase sentences for clarity. At the time of writing this, I don’t even know what the title of this post will be. But you know what? I’m actually enjoying it.
I don’t know if this is a blog post, a rant, or just a journal entry. It’s definitely not a “how-to.” But putting my thoughts into words has been oddly satisfying, and I’d honestly recommend it to anyone.
Lately, I’ve been noticing a recurring theme online: “Just start.” Don’t wait for things to be perfect. Don’t overthink. Just begin and keep going, even if it’s messy or uncertain. Over time, you’ll find your rhythm, and maybe you’ll stumble across something you truly love.
Maybe my interests have shifted without me realising it. Maybe it’s less about clinging to old hobbies like video games and more about exploring new ways to create and express myself. I don’t know where this road leads, but I want to follow it. Starting today, I’m committing to writing on this blog as often as I can — not because I think I’ll create something groundbreaking, but because I want to prove to myself that I am capable of creating.
I’m not sure how to end this post, but I feel better having written it.
I hope you're well.